Show Up - the rest will take care of itself
I will start with an important disclaimer: the stressors in my life, past and present, are what I call “first world problems.” By no means am I comparing myself to anyone else or making my life into a sob story, because it’s not.
It took me until I was part way through my MBA that I truly started to understand what people meant when they said “showing up is half the battle.” Throughout my 20’s, I stressed a lot and about everything. Getting a good job. Living in a place that would meet my lifestyle. How best to spend my meager annual 2 weeks PTO. The list goes on with some meaningful stressors and most not, but trust me I amplified everything in my head.
When I started grad school, I was 28 years old. It was like fuel on the proverbial stress fire. Assignments due on top of work. Then I got engaged. Then we bought a house. A paradox in life — so many good things, but I just couldn’t handle it. At the time, I had a ton of help from my mom with the wedding (let’s not forget she was also practicing law and managing her firm in Baltimore, ahem the wedding was in Miami). At school I had great study groups and took a reduced course load for a semester. At work, I was in a rotation that was particularly not stressful. But I still managed to have this feeling of a rain cloud over my head. Any time I wanted to enjoy something, I knew I had a work assignment to get back to.
Little by little, I got through more semesters at school. My work always got not only completed, but with high marks. My wedding was beautiful. We moved to Boca Raton and friends were there to help. I started to realize that as long as I just show up (not quit) everything else worked out. Even if the thing is painful or the task seems insurmountable, as long as I show up with my best foot forward, I will get to the other side. Funniest memory - writing a finance paper on a 76’ yacht on the way back from the Bahamas.
The showing up thing was an important lesson for me. Sometimes it was not fun at all. It meant staying at work until 2am or going in on Mother’s day. Sometimes it is having the tough conversation with an important person. Those feats could not have been accomplished if I had failed to show up. Fast forward in my career to when I became the Director of Quality, Health, Safety, and Environmental for a manufacturing company. I had to face several challenges with customer complaints, poor supplier quality, OSHA recordables and environmental permits that were out of date. With each situation, I put my best foot forward and engaged the team to bring their own expertise. Problem solving is not an individual sport and feeling stress is 100% optional.
Tim Ferriss is one my favorite interviewers. He’s an OG blogger and email list creator. He has published a list of 17 questions that changed his life and #15 hit home: “What would this look like if it were easy?” Next time I am feeling stressed about something, I will write that at the top of my journal. Because whatever the answer is should be the goal.
